More freaking rubber ducks...

Look at what i had found...A large rubber duck driving a boat. I recently found these in my tiolet- they are everywhere i look... More rubber duckies coming from the sky to invade my yard and pond! A very large rubber duck was found sitting on somebodies property in a very odd place..Guess they are going to need a crane to remove this sucker... It is now time for a rubber duckie round up..The tadpoles would love to have their pond back so they can go swimming again...

My pond and rubber duckies

My pond is being invaded with rubber duckies....My tadpoles are running out of room to swim around..Do you have any idea who would do this? I thought of alot of people as suspects, including the blog elf..The blog elf has been gone for a long time now..I did find his picture on ties..I wonder if he is selling ties now? Did he have a fallout without Santa? I hope not..He could be trying to make some extra cash for the holidays...They are coming up pretty darn quickly..The holidays will be here before you know it...If you have any ideas, please let me know...I hope this not from the fallout with Speedy or somebody else....

Basic rules for driving

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real driver never uses them. 2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or somebody else will fill in that space putting you in an even more dangerous situation. 3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered "going with the flow." 4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit. 5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. The other guy doesn't have anything to lose. 6. Braking is to be done as hard and as late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs. 7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in the metro area during rush hour. 8. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic. 9. Always slow down and rubber-neck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. 10. Everybody thinks their vehicle is better than yours, especially 4WD drivers. 11. It is traditional to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes. 12. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way. 13. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding. 14. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary. 15. Real women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup at 130 kph in bumper-to-bumper traffic. 16. Real men drivers can remove pantyhose and a bra at 130 kph in bumper-to-bumper traffic. 17. Heavy fog and rain are no reasons to change any of the previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God's way ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle sales. 18. There is a common held belief that highspeed tailgating in heavy traffic reduces petrol consumption as you get sucked along in the slipstream of the car in front. This is true. 19. It's OK to cut off fully loaded semi-trailers, road trains and buses because they have brakes. 20. Always anticipate oncoming traffic while driving down a one way street. 21. It's O.K when driving in suburbs to air your grievances at bad drivers by giving the "one or two finger salute" while screaming out "fucking arsehole". But it is imperative you are driving a turbo charged V6 or a 5 litre V8, with a crow bar in your lap.

School photographs

This really is amazing! Check it out. This website is amazing - they actually have photographs of almost every school in the world.

Unless you went to school when cameras weren't invented, you may find a photo of yourself or at least your classmates.

Click on the link below:

Enter the name of your school and the year that you were there.

http://www.worldschoolphotographs.com/

Humor for Lexophiles (lovers of words)

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his Work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at Large.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened Criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky Ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Look at what i had found-Blog Elf!

Look at what i found! Is that the Blog Elf selling ties now? We all know we haven`t seen him in a long time..Maybe he found a new job...Please come back litttle guy..We have missed you dearly..Speedy has missed you too..He does done a post about you being missing...Maunie has been asking about you too and a few others...

I am loved!

I got this lovely award from Angel Baby over at your caring angels..She handed this award to her friends that have helped her out since she started blogging about 6 months ago..Congrats on your 6 months blogging!!!!Hoping for many more months/years blogging..Keep up the good work!

What is this on my car?

Can you guess what this is on my car? I can tell you it is not mud..Don`t ya just love the caveman drawings on the car? I don`t! My 8 yearold did this one yesterday to my car...I guess he was bored, very bored...You never know what boys are going to do next..Christopher`s mind is always going a mile a minute,never sits down hardly or listens to anybody but himself..Everything goes over his head and has selective hearing..That goes for all boys and men come to think of it..It has to be their way or no way at all...We should ship all of them to the moon.Then the house will be spotless!

New drugs for women

• DAMNITOLTake 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
• EMPTYNESTROGENSuppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out!ST.
• MOMMA'S WORTPlant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
• PEPTOBIMBOLiquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
• DUMBEROLWhen taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
• FLIPITORIncreases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
• MENICILLINPotent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, 'You make me want to be a better person. '
• BUYAGRAInjectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
• JACKASSPIRINRelieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat
• ANTI-TALKSIDENTA spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
• NAGAMENTWhen administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.

Thursday night

On thursday night, i was driving the kids to church..The kids started screaming and i then relized we were being stopped..I know i was doing the speed limit..It wasn`t just the sheriff who pulled me over, it was also the border patrol...Cause the van is not from my area.The van is still in my parents name from where they live..The border patrol is running everybodies plates to see if they are from my area or somewhere else...They are looking for illegals..I had a van full of kids-6 kids screaming cause they thought we were in trouble..I was actually doing the speed limit..God only knows what they told the school the next day..luckily we did not get stopped on our way home...What kind of experiences have you had?

Happy Mother`s Day

Hope all Mothers out there have a wonderfull Mother`s Day on Sunday..Remeber your moms..They brought you in this world and they can take you out!(just kidding)...All mom`s are special in their own very way and they were put on this earth to drive you nuts, but you still love them anyway. Have a great one!

Can you read this?

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Everyday uses of Vineger

• To shine chrome sink fixtures that have a lime buildup, use a paste made of 2 tablespoons salt and 1 teaspoon white distilled vinegar.
• Make your own scouring cleanser by combining 1/4 cup baking soda with 1 tablespoon liquid detergent. Add just enough white distilled vinegar to give it a thick but creamy texture.
• Clean counter tops and make them smell sweet again with a cloth soaked in undiluted white distilled vinegar.
• Clean and deodorize a drain by pouring in 1 cup baking soda, then one cup hot white distilled vinegar. Let this sit for 5 minutes or so then run hot water down the drain.
• Deodorize the garbage disposal by pouring in 1/2 cup baking soda and 1/2 cup hot white distilled vinegar. Let sit for 5 minutes then run hot water down the disposal.
• Deodorize and clean the garbage disposal with white distilled vinegar ice cubes. Make them by freezing full-strength white distilled vinegar in an ice cube tray. Run several cubes down the disposal while flushing with cold water.
• Clean the microwave by mixing 1/2 cup white distilled vinegar and 1/2 cup water in a microwave-safe bowl. Bring it to a rolling boil inside the microwave. Baked-on food will be loosened, and odors will disappear. Wipe clean.
• Clean the shelves and walls of the refrigerator with a half-and-half solution of water and white distilled vinegar.
• Cut the grime on the top of the refrigerator with a paper towel or cloth and full-strength white distilled vinegar.
• Avoid the bad smell when you heat up a newly cleaned oven by using a sponge soaked in diluted white distilled vinegar for the final rinse.
• To clean a grease splattered oven door window, saturate it with full-strength white distilled vinegar. Keep the door open for 10 to 15 minutes before wiping with a sponge.
• Remove soap buildup and odors from the dishwasher by pouring a cup of white distilled vinegar inside the empty machine and running it through a whole cycle. Do monthly.
• To prevent good glassware from getting etched by minerals, wash then spray with full-strength white distilled vinegar. Give the glasses a hot water rinse before letting them dry or drying them with a towel.
• For cloudy glassware, soak paper towels or a cloth in full-strength white distilled vinegar and wrap around the inside and outside of the glass. Let sit awhile before rinsing clean.
• Get rid of lime deposits in a tea kettle by adding 1/2 cup white distilled vinegar to the water and letting it sit overnight. If more drastic action is needed, boil full-strength white distilled vinegar in the kettle a few minutes, let cool and rinse with plain water.
• Remove mineral deposits from coffee makers with white distilled vinegar. Fill the water reservoir with 1 cup or more of white distilled vinegar and run it through a whole cycle. Run it once or twice more with plain water to rinse clean. (Check the owners’ manual first.)
• Remove stains from coffee and teacups by scrubbing them gently with equal parts of salt (or baking soda) and white distilled vinegar. Rinse clean.
• For stained and smelly plastic food containers, wipe them with a cloth dampened with white distilled vinegar.
• Remove odors from a lunch box by placing inside a slice of bread that has been soaked in white distilled vinegar. Leave overnight.
• Remove ugly film in narrow-necked glass jars, flower vases, and bottles by letting undiluted white distilled vinegar sit in them for a few hours. Add a little rice or sand and shake vigorously to loosen stubborn stains. Repeat if necessary.
• To clean tarnished brass, copper, and pewter, use a paste with equal amounts of white distilled vinegar and table salt.
• Make a metal cleanser by adding enough white distilled vinegar to 2 tablespoons of cream of tartar to make a paste. Rub it on and let it dry on the surface. Wash it off and dry with a soft cloth.
• Polish brass and copper with a mixture of 2 tablespoons of ketchup and 1 tablespoon white distilled vinegar. Rub it on with a clean cloth until dry and shiny.
• Remove dark stains on an aluminum pot by boiling a mixture of 1 cup white distilled vinegar and 1 cup hot water.
• Discourage ants by spraying undiluted white distilled vinegar outside doorways and windowsills, around appliances and wherever you find the pests coming in. Get rid of fruit flies by setting out a small dish of undiluted white distilled vinegar.
• Clean the wheel of a can opener using white distilled vinegar and an old toothbrush.
• Remove the smell of spoiled food from a refrigerator by first rinsing the area with soap and water. Spray surfaces with full-strength white distilled vinegar and wipe them down with a damp cloth or sponge. Fill some containers with baking soda and place inside. Close the door and leave for a few days.
• Wipe grease off exhaust fan grids, the inside of your oven, or anywhere grease gathers with a sponge soaked in white distilled vinegar.
• To make cleaning the grill easier, spray a solution of half water and half white distilled vinegar on the cooking surface.
• To remove a label, decal, or price tag, cover with a cloth soaked in white distilled vinegar. Leave the cloth on overnight and the label should slide off.
• Renew sponges and dishrags by placing them in just enough water to cover them. Then add 1/4 cup white distilled vinegar. Let them soak overnight.
• Get rid of calcium deposits on faucets by soaking a cloth or paper towel in white distilled vinegar and wrapping the area tightly. Let this sit for a couple of hours or overnight.
• Remove soap buildup from faucets by scrubbing them with a solution of 1 part salt to 4 parts white distilled vinegar.
• Rid a faucet of lime deposits by tying a plastic bag containing 1/2 to 1/3 cup of white distilled vinegar around it and leaving it there for two or three hours. If mineral deposits don’t wipe off, scrubbing with an old toothbrush should complete the job.
• Shine colored porcelain sinks by scouring them with undiluted white distilled vinegar. Rinse away soapy film on countertops with a solution of white distilled vinegar and water.
• Clean grout by letting full-strength white distilled vinegar sit on it for a few minutes and scrubbing it with an old toothbrush.
• Kill germs all around the bathroom with a spray of full-strength white distilled vinegar. Wipe clean with a damp cloth.
• To remove grime, mildew, and scum from the tub, tile, shower curtain or door, wipe with undiluted white distilled vinegar. Rinse with water.
• Spray shower doors with full-strength white distilled vinegar after you’ve squeegeed the glass, or before you step in and turn on the water. It will help release the hard water deposits so they don’t remain on the glass.
• Mix up an inexpensive tile cleaner by adding 1/2 cup baking soda, 1 cup white distilled vinegar, and 1 cup ammonia to a gallon of warm water.
• Get rid of stubborn bathtub film by wiping it with white distilled vinegar and then scouring with baking soda.
• Soak a sponge or loofah overnight in a strong white distilled vinegar and water solution to remove dirt and slime. Rinse several times with cold water and let air dry (in the sun if possible).
• Clean shower door tracks by filling them with white distilled vinegar and letting it sit for a few hours. Pour hot water into the tracks and wash and scrub away the scum with a toothbrush.
• To clean a scummy showerhead, pour 1/2 cup baking soda and 1 cup white distilled vinegar into a sandwich bag and tie it around the showerhead. Let this set for an hour after the bubbling has stopped. Remove the bag and then turn on the water.
• Deodorize the toilet bowl by allowing 3 cups white distilled vinegar to sit in it for about a half hour before flushing.
• To make the toilet bowl sparkle, pour in a cup or more of diluted white distilled vinegar and let it sit several hours or overnight. Scrub well with the toilet brush and flush.
• Freshen air in the bathroom by spraying into the air a solution of 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1 tablespoon white distilled vinegar, and 1 cup water.
• Get a shining finish on a no-wax vinyl or linoleum floor by cleaning it with a solution of one cup white distilled vinegar for every gallon of water.
• Apply full-strength white distilled vinegar directly to tough linoleum stains. Leave it on for 10 to 15 minutes before wiping it up. If that doesn’t work, apply white distilled vinegar again and then sprinkle some baking soda over the white distilled vinegar. Scrub the area with a brush or sponge. Rinse clean with water.
• For an economical and environmentally friendly floor cleaner, mix a solution of 3 drops dishwashing liquid to 1/3 part white distilled vinegar, 1/3 part alcohol, and 1/3 part water. Spray sparingly and mop for a fast clean-up.
• Some carpet stains can be removed with a paste of 2 tablespoons white distilled vinegar and 1/4 cup salt or baking soda. Rub into the carpet stain and let dry. Vacuum up the residue the next day. (Always test on an out-of-sight part of the carpet first).
• Bring out the color in carpet by brushing it with a solution of 1 cup white distilled vinegar for every gallon of water. (Always test on an out-of-sight part of the carpet beforehand).
• To reduce soap bubbles in a steam cleaner add about 1/4 cup white distilled vinegar. Use the same amount in the rinse water to remove detergent residue and make carpets stay fresh longer.
• Wash indoor/outdoor carpet with a solution of 1 cup white distilled vinegar in 1 bucket of warm water. Scrub using a brush or a broom and then hose off.
• Clean up pet accidents by first blotting up the area and then adding a white distilled vinegar-and-water solution. Blot until it is almost dry. Then sprinkle baking soda over the area and let it dry. Vacuum up the residue the next day.
• Create your own window cleaning solution by combining 1/2 cup non-sudsy ammonia, 1 cup white distilled vinegar, and 2 tablespoons cornstarch in a gallon of water.
• Remove the wax residue left by commercial window cleaners with a solution of 2 cups water, 1 cup white distilled vinegar and 1 teaspoon of liquid soap or detergent.
• To remove paint from windows try using undiluted, hot white distilled vinegar. Give the solution time to soften the paint before removing with a razor edge tool.
• To remove paint splatters from windows apply full-strength white distilled vinegar with a clean paintbrush.
• Get rid of mildew, dust, and stale odors by wiping down walls with undiluted white distilled vinegar on a cloth or a sponge mop.
• Clean woodwork and walls with a mixture of 1 cup white distilled vinegar, 1 cup baking soda, 1/2 cup ammonia and 1 gallon warm water. Wipe on with a sponge or damp—not wet—towel.
• Clean wood paneling with a solution of 1/4 cup olive oil, 1/2 cup white distilled vinegar, and 2 cups warm water. Wipe on with a soft cloth.
• Remove wallpaper easily by using a paint roller to wet the surface very thoroughly with a solution of equal parts white distilled vinegar and hot water. Or spray on until saturated.
• Get decals off walls or doors by letting undiluted white distilled vinegar soak into them for several minutes before trying to peel them off. Repeat if necessary.
• Remove white water rings from wood with a solution of equal parts white distilled vinegar and vegetable oil. Rub with the grain.
• Remove fireplace soot and grime with undiluted white distilled vinegar. Use a brush to scrub and a towel to blot up the wetness and dirt.
• Clean fireplace glass doors with a solution of 1 part white distilled vinegar to 2 parts water. Spray or wipe on, then wipe clean with a dry cloth.
• To kill germs, spray full-strength white distilled vinegar on doorknobs and then wipe them dry.
• Remove the smell of a dead mouse or other rodent (after removing all animal remnants) by wiping down the area with either white distilled vinegar or bleach. Then place a fabric softener sheet in the area to remove any lingering odors.
• Never use white distilled vinegar on marble. The acid can damage the surface.
• Before painting old concrete, clean with full-strength white distilled vinegar. Let it air dry. Clean hardened paint brushes by simmering them in a pot with white distilled vinegar. Soak them first for an hour before bringing the white distilled vinegar to a simmer. Drain and rinse clean.
• Remove mud and stains from plastic, fiberglass, or aluminum sports equipment by applying a paste of 1 part white distilled vinegar to 3 parts baking soda. Wipe off with soapy water and rinse with clear water.
• Clean your grill by spritzing white distilled vinegar over wadded up aluminum foil and scrubbing the grill vigorously with it.
• To remove film in glass baby bottles, fill with equal parts hot water and white distilled vinegar. Let sit for at least an hour. Scrub with a bottle brush.
• To clean and disinfect baby toys add a good-sized splash of white distilled vinegar to soapy water.
• Clean vinyl baby books or board books by wiping with white distilled vinegar. Wipe clean with a damp sponge or cloth.
• Clean scissors that have become sticky (after cutting tape, for instance) with a cloth dipped in undiluted white distilled vinegar.
• Clean and deodorize urine on a mattress with a white distilled vinegar and water solution. Then sprinkle the area with baking soda and let dry. Brush or vacuum the residue after it is dry to the touch.
• Shine pennies by soaking them for a couple of hours or overnight in a glass or bowl of undiluted white distilled vinegar.

Laundry uses with Vineger

• Prevent lint from clinging to clothes by adding 1/2 cup white distilled vinegar to the wash cycle.
• To remove soap residue that makes black clothes look dull use white distilled vinegar in your final rinse.
• Get stained white socks and dingy dishcloths white again. Add 1 cup white distilled vinegar to a large pot of water, bring it to a rolling boil and drop in the articles. Let soak overnight. Some stains on clothing and linens can be soaked out using equal parts milk and white distilled vinegar.
• Before washing a mustard stain, dab with white distilled vinegar. Attack spaghetti, barbecue, or ketchup stains with a white distilled vinegar and water solution.
• Remove perspiration odor and stains on clothing, as well as those left by deodorants, by spraying full-strength white distilled vinegar on underarm and collar areas before tossing them into the washing machine.
• Forgot that you left wet laundry in the machine and it now smells moldy? Pour a few cups of white distilled vinegar in the machine and wash the clothes in hot water. Then run a normal cycle with detergent.
• Remove smoky odors from clothes by filling the bathtub with very hot water and 1 cup white distilled vinegar. Hang the garments above the steaming water and shut the door so the steam can penetrate the fibers.
• Keep the steam iron clean and in good working order by getting rid of mineral deposits in steam vents and spray nozzles. Fill the water chamber with a solution of equal parts white distilled vinegar and distilled water. Set it in an upright position and let it steam for about 5 minutes. When the iron is cool, rinse the tank with water, refill and shake water through the vents onto an old cloth. Test before using.
• Remove scorch marks from an iron by rubbing it with a warmed-up solution of equal parts white distilled vinegar and salt. If that doesn’t work, use a cloth dampened with full-strength white distilled vinegar.
• Remove musky smells from cotton clothes by sprinkling them lightly with white distilled vinegar and then pressing them.
• Get water and salt stains off shoes and boots by wiping them down with a solution of equal parts white distilled vinegar and water. Give patent leather shoes and bags a better shine by wiping them down with white distilled vinegar.
• Get cleaner laundry! Add about 1/4 cup white distilled vinegar to the last rinse. The acid in white distilled vinegar is too mild to harm fabrics, yet strong enough to dissolve the alkalies in soaps and detergents. Besides removing soap, white distilled vinegar prevents yellowing, acts as a fabric softener and static cling reducer, and attacks mold and mildew.
• Eliminate manufacturing chemicals from new clothes by adding 1/2 cup white distilled vinegar to the water.
• Remove soap scum and clean the hoses of your washing machine with white distilled vinegar. Periodically run the machine with only a cup of white distilled vinegar in it—nothing else added to the wash cycle.
• Bring out bright colors by adding 1/2 cup white distilled vinegar to the rinse cycle. Fluff up wool or acrylic sweaters (hand- or machine-washed) and rid them of soap smell, with 1/2 cup white distilled vinegar in the last rinse water.
• Get rid of the tiny holes left along the hemline when you take out the hem of any garment by moistening a cloth with white distilled vinegar, placing it under the fabric and ironing.

My son doing housework!

How often do you see an 8 yearold boy actually wanting to vacum his bedroom? Never until today...I was so proud of him vacuming the room.. Maybe its because the boys are getting bunkbeds in their bedroom..Now maybe my youngest son will want to sleep in the same bedroom with his brother again,-my youngest boy has been sleeping on the couch..He hasn`t wanted to sleep with his brother-he doesn`t like being bothered by him at all...

Boobs and Willies

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?' The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, a woman goes through three Phases. In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s , they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions'. 'Onions?' 'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.' This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, 'Mom, how Many kinds of 'willies' are there?' The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes Through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, Mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but Reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree'. 'A Christmas tree?' 'Yes --- dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration!

Summer vacation coming too soon!

The kids get out of school on May 22nd this year...I will never be ready for them to get out.I don`t think any parent is ready for them to get out. Just to think of the expense of feeding them and putting them into childcare which can be a fortune...I am currently trying to put all 3 of them into summer school right now..Still no word on summer school..It would be good for them and for my sanity right now. Summer time in Arizona can be very hot-which would mean the kids would be in the house all day..(that ain`t going to happen) With gas prices keep going up, i am not doing much with them except for our camping trip in July for Kayla`s 13 birthday.Camping is what Kayla want`s to do for her birthday with some friends up at the lake...They go back to school on August 4th...Summer vacation is too long in my opionion. What are you doing for summer vacation with/to the kids?

Who to operate on

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside is in alphabetical order."The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."

Show me your Fridge!

I thought we could have some fun here today..As you can tell, i don`t have enough time to clean anywhere near or on the fridge...Does anybody ever have time time clean everything? I don`t..With 3 kids and my husband-they can be tornados..The Fridge is usually always the last thing to be cleaned if ever... Show your pictures of your fridge..Lets have some fun..Please link back to me as i was the first one to start this thingy....

The school wants to....

Test my son Christopher for the gifted program at school..I knew he was smart..They have to hold him down for them to take the test first..He has adhd..Good luck to the school trying to test him...If he passes, i think this will be good for him in the long run...He gets so bored in school that he causes problems and has melt downs doing homework..Just recently he got into trouble for bitting somebody on the playground...Last school year he flooded the boys bathroom....

Have you started shopping yet?

Have you thought about Christmas shopping yet? I will starting soon myself..I can`t do the last minute shopping anymore since the kids are getting older now..My friend and i were thinking about renting a unit to hide everything and keeping a table in their to wrap up the presents..We are going to be ready for anything this year..I already started stocking up on food for the holidays-i have big deep chest freezer storing stuff in it..Good luck to you all..I am not shopping like a crazy lady this year shopping at the last minute..

Happy Earth Day!!!!

Happy Earth Day to All!!!! My kids have been birdhouses out od popscycle sticks for the birds for Earth Day!!!