Mom`s Brownies

• Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.

• Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.

• Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr "no, no."

• Add margarine to 2 cups sugar.

• Take shortening can away from Jr and clean cupboards.

• Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.

• Take shortening can away from Billy again and bathe cat.

• Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail.

• Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.

• Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation.

• Take telephone away from Jr. and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill.

• Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.

• Let cat out of refrigerator.

• Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13 inch pan. Bake 25 minutes.

• Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy.

• Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn.

• Throw cat outside while there's still time and he's still able to run away.

• Frosting--Mix the following in saucepan: 1 cup sugar 1 oz unsweetened chocolate 1/4 cup margarine.

• Take the %$$&#&% teddy bear out of the @#$% broiler and throw it away -- far away.

• Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't know Jr had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street.

• Put Jr. in playpen.

• Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes.

• Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet.

• Tie Billy to clothesline.

• Remove burned brownies from oven.